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is it a mausoleum or a dead mall?
when will the tiredness end???? i feel like since i started sleeping 7.5 hours a night with a regular sleep schedule, i am more tired than i have ever been... like my body is trying to catch up on the years of shit sleep. it doesn't help that its cold either. i enjoy the vivid dreams i have been having though which also may be a side effect of how little sleep my body used to get oops. ah well... its nice to be able to sleep deeply and have detailed dreams.
i've been thinking a lot about 90s rave culture lately and how much i want to rave and wear my rave fits because its been so long since ive done that... well, a year bc covid but still!!!! i wanna run a virtual rave where i play a different trance album every time and use all my lights for aesthetics, create flyers, etc.
my classes end on feb 7 and i am taking a sabbatical to really work on my art, fully and wholly without distraction to continue working on my series, start new ones and really just hone in my photography and design. my team has not really been respectful of my time no matter how much i speak up (minus a few) so i'm just heading for my deadline and then going into deep into my art since the people in my life currently understand my time boundaries and are much more lenient. the people in my class are not people i would hang out with in real life (again, minus a few) and are really attached to enabling lmao so it'll be refreshing to get back to my life 100% renewed and refreshed to start creating virtual raves and dressing up lol.
today i've been researching about the fetishization of nostalgia and hauntology because a lot of my art is influenced on my own past and how my identity was formed by the internet and also by my unusual family. it's interesting to me to think of a future that is not related to your past and a past that is not related to your future. i agree that being present can be considered a farce in a way and that your life is not entirely dependent on present/past/future but all of them as a whole, they all exist at once which creates the human existence. i'm curious to read derridas to see how it ties into the working class and i'm not attached to needing context for what i know i will not know wether i will read the book or not. it will be an interesting exercise, at least, which is always something i am up for. lately, i am interested in learning without the intention to know but to take in information and see where it fits for me because i don't know shit! and that's freeing to admit, babieeeee
also i started paradise killer again because i missed it so it seems like the perfect thing to tie into that, especially because paradise killer is also haunting me
i've been thinking a lot about 90s rave culture lately and how much i want to rave and wear my rave fits because its been so long since ive done that... well, a year bc covid but still!!!! i wanna run a virtual rave where i play a different trance album every time and use all my lights for aesthetics, create flyers, etc.
my classes end on feb 7 and i am taking a sabbatical to really work on my art, fully and wholly without distraction to continue working on my series, start new ones and really just hone in my photography and design. my team has not really been respectful of my time no matter how much i speak up (minus a few) so i'm just heading for my deadline and then going into deep into my art since the people in my life currently understand my time boundaries and are much more lenient. the people in my class are not people i would hang out with in real life (again, minus a few) and are really attached to enabling lmao so it'll be refreshing to get back to my life 100% renewed and refreshed to start creating virtual raves and dressing up lol.
today i've been researching about the fetishization of nostalgia and hauntology because a lot of my art is influenced on my own past and how my identity was formed by the internet and also by my unusual family. it's interesting to me to think of a future that is not related to your past and a past that is not related to your future. i agree that being present can be considered a farce in a way and that your life is not entirely dependent on present/past/future but all of them as a whole, they all exist at once which creates the human existence. i'm curious to read derridas to see how it ties into the working class and i'm not attached to needing context for what i know i will not know wether i will read the book or not. it will be an interesting exercise, at least, which is always something i am up for. lately, i am interested in learning without the intention to know but to take in information and see where it fits for me because i don't know shit! and that's freeing to admit, babieeeee
also i started paradise killer again because i missed it so it seems like the perfect thing to tie into that, especially because paradise killer is also haunting me